Kenneth Candle.

I’ve been around a bit and I have travelled to several amazing lands. Whilst I enjoy travel and seeing new things and experiencing what the local cultures have to offer, I’m not a very good tourist. I don’t feel the need to spend a fortune in those odd little gift shops and the very deepest […]

Better than this…

I walk a lot. I mean, I walk an awful lot. I’m always out and about, I see the subtle changes in the World around me like a super slow zoetrope. I notice things and remark upon them internally. I sometime wonder what a printout of my mind would look like. It’d be a waste […]


On those very rare occasions when I turn on the TV, I scan through the channels for something, anything that won’t annoy the utter drizzle out of me and I settle down to enjoy a brief snatch of light and colour. And then…the adverts come on and I’m sent pell-mell into a world of calamitous […]


As one skims through life, you find yourself in the company of people who you might not immediately choose as a friend. Through school, work and generally knocking about in your own merry way, you discover that you are not the only nutcase in town and for me, I discovered that in the form of […]


OK, here I am, back at home after attempting to sort out IT issues for the elderly. During this time, an old chap with a difficult Scottish accent and a weird odour, talked about how he likes to collect pictures of people he knew that are now dead.  He informed me that it “is not […]

On the Buses.

I can’t watch “On the Buses” and enjoy it anymore. I remember that I liked it when I was very young but as time has gone by, it seems to have dated so disastrously that it actually makes me feel a bit ill. The lecherous bus crew, the militaristic Inspector, lost now that his national […]

The King of Comfort.

A true story from 2005. I wrote this immediately after the least terrifying incident that I’ve ever been involved in. Let me take you back to a less innocent time…   So what happened? Well, I climbed into poor little Dave Potten’s car with an admonishment to him that he ought to drive carefully with […]