Electro-pensioners.

OK, here I am, back at home after attempting to sort out IT issues for the elderly. During this time, an old chap with a difficult Scottish accent and a weird odour, talked about how he likes to collect pictures of people he knew that are now dead.  He informed me that it “is not […]

On the Buses.

I can’t watch “On the Buses” and enjoy it anymore. I remember that I liked it when I was very young but as time has gone by, it seems to have dated so disastrously that it actually makes me feel a bit ill. The lecherous bus crew, the militaristic Inspector, lost now that his national […]

The King of Comfort.

A true story from 2005. I wrote this immediately after the least terrifying incident that I’ve ever been involved in. Let me take you back to a less innocent time…   So what happened? Well, I climbed into poor little Dave Potten’s car with an admonishment to him that he ought to drive carefully with […]

Draining activities.

Recently, a young chap put out a call for help online. He’d dropped his car key down the drain outside of the launderette and was desperate to retrieve it before his girlfriend found out and he’d have to pay a fortune to get it replaced. I answered his Facebook distress signal, mainly because it sounded […]

Under the bonnet…

This is going to sound fairly arrogant but I am it… I speak the truth, I am it. There’s a game in which I have become an unwilling competitor and I have been tagged as “it” more times than is generally good for me and I need to explain… You’re probably going to think that […]

Dangerous Rolf

I almost got run over by Rolf Harris…..twice. Two separate occasions and several miles apart. Once in Orpington…..I wasn’t watching where I was going and he was speeding towards me. His mouth made the classic “Oh, NO!” shape but he missed. The next time was a couple of weeks later. I was crossing the road […]

It’s not my bag…

Today, I spent rather a long time sitting with an 81 year old Scotsman. This happens to me once a week at this point in my life and I have to say that I will never get used to the smell of this chap. I can’t quite put into words the way that he stinks […]